Overcoming Fear with Everyday Courage (like Bob Barker and more!)

Introduction

I’ve had the concept for this post knocking around in my head for a long time.

Too long, some might say.

The thing is, while I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted it to communicate; I also had a lot of other topics I thought I should cover first.

It seemed important to talk about My Why, share a bit about the process of launching Ground Control and a few more bits and bobs on the way.

Then, one thing led to another and here I was dealing with the anniversary of my mom’s death. 

Not fun. 

But to be honest, I’ve found the catharsis of writing about all of these topics to be pretty clarifying in and of themselves.

Finding Inspiration in Unexpected Places

You see, when I started on my journey of being an everyday writer I knew there would be times where I might not have something to say; or at least not something that felt like it deserved being dropped into your lap.

The thing is, that day hasn’t really arrived yet. 

I’ve stayed diligent in jotting down each and every idea as it arrives on my writing rubric. I’ve got topics, titles and more than a few jailbreak posts to get me inspired in the event that day does arrive.

And it will, I know it will.

Bob Barker: A Symbol of Consistency

But onto to Bob.

What has evolved in my thinking about this topic and kept it relevant in my desire to write about it is the universality of the problem.

Which is a combination of fear and dread and how those two devils can team up and outwit us despite the fact that we’re veritable badasses in our own right.

In layman’s terms; we all get stuck. Let’s get unstuck!

The Universality of Inner Struggles

Let me explain.

I was working my way through the eleventy-twelfth iteration of calling myself a no good, dirty rotten imposter when the thought “What would Bob Barker do?” popped into my brain.

For all of you millennials (and younger) who don’t know who Bob Barker is feel free to pick your favorite celebrity who’s got the Riz in spades. 

For my non-millennial (and younger) readers Riz is youngster slang for Charisma:) I have a twelve year old son so don’t feel too bad that I had to explain that. 

Anyway, there I was, huffing and puffing through my morning two mile run talking dirty to myself when boom, “what would Bob Barker” do smashes me in the brain.

And I thought, man, that's some profound stuff right there.

Embracing the Fear

Who is Bob Barker?

For those who aren’t aware, Bob Barker was the host of a popular American television show called The Price is Right.

Bob held court on The Price is Right from 1972 to 2007, 5 days a week from 11am to 12pm ET; for 35 years.

By the way, that’s 6,586 episodes for anyone who needs that stat. 

I did.

Anyway, suffice it to say that over the course of those nearly 7 thousand episodes things didn’t always go to plan. And that’s what I was bulking on.

You see, while on my run, and stunned by that thought it dawned on me that there are any infinite number of people who we perceive have everything together all the time.

We take for fact that all of these amazing people in the world, Bob included, wake up every day, put their feet on the floor and exude greatness, clarity and conviction.

The a-ha moment was the realization that this assumption must be wrong.

Despite knowing that no one is perfect we sometimes forget that to be a universal truth.

The point here is that Bob Barker was a wonderful, charismatic person who lived in the hearts and minds of millions of people for decades and always appeared with poise and grace; and despite all that I knew there must have been a chink in the armor now and again.

Letting the Show Go On

There must have been times when Bob just didn’t want to do the damn thing.

While the concept of “Imposter Syndrome” is a relatively new idea in being coined as a phrase, and probably something older generations didn’t recognize as such, I have to believe there were days when Bob didn’t wanna do it.

There had to have been days when Bob just didn’t wanna Come on Down if you will.

And that realization lit me up like a blunt at a Pharcyde concert.

And from there, I was off to the races.

How many countless celebrities, musicians, geniuses and regular old amazing everyday moms and dads wake up, put those feet on the floor and get on with it despite not wanting to?

Here’s the answer. It’s a lot. Perhaps all of them.

You see, this is just a simple mental model I’m breaking down.

Could I have gotten to it more quickly? Yes, of course.

Would you have appreciated it in the same way? Dunno.

I definitely wouldn’t have been able to be so clever and that would have been a real shame.

Anyway, the point here is when you find yourself in those moments the most important task at hand needs to be creating a pattern interrupt. You gotta find a way to shake yourself out of it, assess the situation, and keep on rolling.

For me, Bob Barker helped bring the light.

For you, it might be The Rock, Kobe Bryant, Mr. Beast or Albert Einstein.

"The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler." - Albert Einstein

Einstein thought of himself as an involuntary swindler and I’m over here worried about sending out a newsletter. 

Puts things in perspective right?

So the task at hand when you, or I, end up stuck in our heads struggling with feeling like a fake is to find a way to disrupt those thoughts.

If we can interrupt the pattern of negativity we can start to rebuild our confidence and make progress in the right direction.

You see, when we sit in a static place it’s hard to escape those thoughts but when we start moving, in pretty much any direction, we begin to claw our way out from under it.

To see that the shadow is bigger than the object casting it.

And with that progress away from the darkness we start to see the light.

Here’s what that process looks like for me. And while it might not work for everyone, it might work for you.

Embrace the Fear

Face the facts. I try to be honest with myself that I’m here and I’m dealing with this. 

No amount of pretending this isn’t happening is going to change the reality of the moment. And to be honest with you, the reality of the moment isn’t as bad as you might think.

After all, there’s nothing wrong with critically thinking about what’s going well and what’s not. That insight might prove to be the thing that makes your next song, book or recipe that much better.

Find Your Why

The next step is reminding yourself why

 you’re doing what you’re doing in the first place.

Remember, you didn’t arrive here by accident. You got here under your own power and driven by your own personal assumptions. 

There’s nothing wrong with reinforcing your why to yourself. Sometimes we lose track of our purpose and that’s ok; as long as we are diligent to get back to work once we recognize we’ve deviated.

Shift Your Perspective

As I mentioned before, sometimes finding yourself in this position isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Sometimes we need a new perspective to wrap our heads around what we’re doing. 

For my part, it took feeling like a failure to bring me to revelation about Bob Barker and truth be told I’m actually grateful for having gained this perspective. 

Not only was it interesting but it provided me with an invaluable model to reframe my own negative thoughts and realize that every single person experiences doubt.

It’s human nature.

Most of all, it’s imperative that you remember that when you’re stuck in these moments that you are not unique.

It’s very well documented that what we’re talking about today is a human condition.

We all deal with the negative dialogue in our heads.

So the next time you’re feeling this way just remember you are not alone.

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with a friend or someone you can confide in. For that matter, maybe you should consider sharing it with a perfect stranger. You never know what that vulnerability might bare out.

Five simple suggestions for shifting your perspective:

1. Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on things you're grateful for. Focusing on the positives can help shift your perspective from what's going wrong to what's going right in your life.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, question their validity and consider alternative interpretations. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support your negative beliefs or if there might be a more balanced perspective to consider.

3. Seek Different Viewpoints: Talk to friends, family members, or colleagues about your challenges. Their perspectives might offer new insights or solutions that you hadn't considered.

4. Visualize Success: Imagine yourself overcoming obstacles and achieving your goals. Visualizing success can help shift your mindset from one of doubt to one of confidence and possibility.

5. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises to cultivate awareness of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Mindfulness can help you observe negative thoughts without getting caught up in them, allowing for a more balanced perspective.

Conclusion

In the grand theater of life, we all find ourselves on stage at times, facing down our inner doubts and fears. 

Yet, just as Bob Barker confidently called contestants to 'Come on Down,' and Albert Einstein admitted to feeling like an 'involuntary swindler,' we too can confront our uncertainties with courage and resilience. 

Embracing the fear, reconnecting with our why, and shifting our perspective are not just strategies for the chosen few; they're accessible tools for each of us navigating the twists and turns of our own journeys. 

So, the next time self-doubt whispers in your ear, remember the shared humanity of those who've walked this path before us. 

You are not alone. Reach out, confide, and find solace in the knowledge that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather the wellspring of strength. 

Together, let's continue to show up, embrace our authenticity, and let the show go on, one courageous step at a time.

Until next time.

This is Ground Control.

-Patrick