The Long Arm of Existence

I had a profound experience last Saturday night.

While popping by to see a friend's band play (I missed it) I ran into a very old acquaintance.

Someone that I knew 20 years ago; and not really all that well.

To be clear. I had trouble remembering them. 

Took some reminding to regain much more context into who they are and what our history contained.

Each new bit they reminded me of would have never surfaced again.

Without a Doubt

From their perspective it couldn't have been any more different.

After talking for a bit the reminiscing started to surface a lot of pain for them.

Pain that I didn't so much cause but with which I was deeply entwined.

And it quickly became extremely obvious the suffering this had caused.

Again, not something I would have ever remembered much less had feelings about. Or been aware of.

Yet from their perspective they were living in a purgatory for their actions and perceiving a continued indifference and anger from me.

Two Decades

That's really hard to take when I think about it.

More so, it really made my mind bloom in thinking about how easily we can sometimes allow ourselves to imagine the worst.

The amount of perceived judgment and worry; the mirage of self-critical vibes we allow ourselves to simmer in is startling.

Simply put: I let too much fake shit live rent free in my mind too.

Now, this enlightenment for me isn't one of condescension.

It's one of perspective.

Seeing this person's pain; that was being suffered for absolutely nothing (and in a sense on my behalf) was a striking reinforcement of all the changes I've made in the last six months. And just how far I’ve come.

And it left me ruminating on the word Grace.

Grace, My Friends.

Life is hard and we are amazing.

But grace is due even when you can't possibly see yourself as deserving.

In fact, you need it more in that moment than you could ever know.

On a second note.

Wow, how long the arc of the things we say can stretch.

It's a hard lesson to know you've been part of someone's pain.

It's a hard lesson to know how that pain continued to compound as it rolled out from them.

The continuum monumental. 

The impact?

Devastating.

In a Half Life

Be kind with your words. Be kind with yourself. And be kind with people.

You never know the life your words will go on to live.

Choose them wisely.

This is Ground Control

Patrick